i saw the sekiro anime trailer and wondered why not anime bloodborne but like,, i take it back i'd rather the game be released from ps4 purgatory,, i don't want cgi animated bloodborne film produced by a youtuber T-T the fuck lol

04.14.26 @ 4:26PM

teaching myself how to do basic coding in godot is on my to-do list,, idk why godot, it just seems less intimidating and also the mascot is cute. i have no ideas for a game, i just think it'd be cool to learn some basics. and i'm interested in doing stuff with low poly models in godot anyway, whenever i actually finish some lol,,

04.12.26 @ 12:28PM

i've had a headache from hell for two days now =_= end me

04.12.26 @ 10:11AM

i feel like the term "cozy game" is the new "souls like" but instead of hastily made games popping up and flooding steam, its now "indie studios" dropping their new cozy game but actually they're owned by tencent and aggressively marketing their game by throwing sponsorships at influencers. also they're all gacha games or free to play with micro transactions bc of course they are. and half of the assets in the games are made with AI.

04.11.26 @ 8:39PM

i found old art of characters i made in like 2016,, callie, a girl with green onion pigtails ontop of her head and her sidekick, michael, an anthropomorphic shiitake mushroom. i used to draw comics a lot (they were bad) so i think i wanted to do comedy 4koma-type comics with them, but i wasn't confident enough haha. i still really like their designs tho

04.10.26 @ 6:07PM

i have models just rotting away in blender cause i hate uv unwrapping T-T

04.10.26 @ 10:14AM

i had my window open and was thinking "god whoever is out there talking so loudly sounds like an idiot" so i look outside and its a fuckin cop just standing in the street outside my house yapping to someone in a d.a.r.e car...??? =_= the fuck,, get out of here

04.09.26 @ 3:54PM

impulsively gave myself v bangs/vampire bangs/whatever they're called,, they're kinda fun idk how long i'll keep them, tho. i can't help but feel a little bit like a romulan from star trek lol which isn't a bad thing, i guess. romulans are cool

04.09.26 @ 3:40PM

i'm still playing thru village but i kind of want to play thru the original first three games before playing the remakes cause its been a long time since i've played them,, can i play that much resident evil tho without getting sick of it,,

04.08.26 @ 7:12PM

idk why but i feel like ass today, like i'm coming down with something. its really annoying bc there's stuff i was working on but it'll have to wait until whatever this is passes and hopefully doesn't get worse =_= bc i can't focus

04.08.26 @ 2:00PM

its dorohedoro wednesday :-)

04.08.26 @ 9:45AM

had no idea the kroger in my area carries 2lb bags of quorn nuggets,, score

04.06.26 @ 11:30AM

i think i'm mostly caught up on stardom lore,, i am invested

04.04.26 @ 5:45PM

i already liked h.a.t.e. and saya kamitani (she's sooo dramatic i luv her,,) without any context, but i watched a lore video and now i like them more with the added context lol

04.04.26 @ 3:17PM

i love the h.a.t.e. villains from stardom,, they're fun. i like how one is just a weird little clown.

04.03.26 @ 2:58PM

i did some 30 min figure studies this morning,, i'm gonna try to make it into a daily habit, despite disliking it,, u_u i also started a new sketchbook bc i feel like drawing on paper w/ pen without the luxury of un-doing every mistake forces me to use more braincells. i wanna improve at drawing figures & poses cause i have ideas in my head that i struggle to translate properly into drawings cause i need more practice

04.03.26 @ 11:25AM

oh i woke up thinking today was saturday haha woops =w=

04.03.26 @ 9:49AM

inhome surveillance cameras/doorbell cams just heighten paranoia and the ppl who willingly use them are usually already paranoid weirdos. they just end up using their cams to spy on their own family, neighbors, delivery people, all while they themselves are willingly being spied on by the company they bought the camera from. its so weird i hate it.

04.02.26 @ 10:34PM

fuck it i wanna draw my dragon lady,, i've decided she's a pro wrestler (heel). i think her persona name is just gonna be "wyrm" because its funny to me, maaaybe "ringwyrm" idk. i don't really want to overthink this lol

04.02.26 @ 2:52PM

i keep opening new canvases inbetween fanart to sketch out ocs or other random stuff =_= i wanna work on original ideas but i really have to finish all of these fanart related things that have just been collecting dust for months,,,,

04.02.26 @ 11:23AM

i think the best route is to quit using social media, but to be clear i do think it can be used in moderation and some detachment. i still have to use it in some ways unfortunately. i do also think its somewhat important to keep track of how its progressing and affecting the average user who doesn't want to detach from it. but yea i've had to train myself to just use it for practical reasons and then detach. i used to check twitter every morning as soon as i woke up and spend hours scrolling in bed. i now probably check social media like once a week if that. some weeks not at all. its possible to detach from it. having a reason to check it helps, instead of just checking it cause you're bored.

04.02.26 @ 9:13AM

its so weird to me when i see ppl my age or not even 5-10 yrs older than me acting like boomers on social media, making gen ai pics of themselves, still using facebook, reacting to ai ragebait videos, etc. i quit using social media before gen ai took over and it was bc the constant negativity, advertising and algorithm messing with my identity or interests was driving me nuts and i couldn't stand it anymore. but how is it some ppl never get fed up with it or at the very least get bored and find something better to do w/ their time

04.02.26 @ 9:13AM

i watched all three episodes in one sitting,, i'm so glad s2 is finally here u_u each episode was a fun watch. loving the art direction, esp in the third episode

04.01.26 @ 9:49PM

dorohedoro season 2 is real,,, i think there's three episodes already out to watch but i will watch them later >_< yayyy

04.01.26 @ 11:51AM

trying to fight the burnout =_= i can get so much done this week if i just find ways to fight the burnout,,,

03.31.26 @ 1:06PM

i started a new file in re: village last night :D i totally forgot about the loot system similiar to re4. i looked at my first file from 2021, i hadn't even found all the masks in the castle yet before i stopped playing, lol. i ended up progressing further than that last night. its good fun so far

03.31.26 @ 9:34AM

i saw there's gonna be a magic knight rayearth reboot and it reminded me of how i sooo badly wanted to draw in the clamp art style when i was younger, but it was too difficult for me. so i'd copy yoshiyuki sadamoto's art style instead, lol. specifically his character designs for dot hack,, i think the character i'd draw over and over in my sketch book was always black rose lol. all of my characters had extremely long limbs and torsos and were extremely skinny bc my child brain didn't know how to correctly mimic sadamoto's stylized anatomy.

03.30.26 @ 9:31AM

i have the sudden urge to draw spyro the dragon,, but i haven't drawn a dragon in a long time. i had a phase where i drew a lot of dragons when i was younger bc i became obsessed with the game "drakengard" lol

03.29.26 @ 10:56AM

i started replaying re7 a couple days ago and am already nearly finished w/ it haha =_=; i have to say i still really like it, its so good. i'm excited to play village next cause i wasn't doing well mentally at the time it released so i don't really remember much of it other than the hype and memes for it. i also never even finished it, lol.

03.28.26 @ 11:12PM

"ok i'm just gonna do simple cel shading cause i want the details to be clear and easily readable as a sticker or keychain" *gets lost in the sauce and proceeds to fully render everything, including detailed folds in the clothing* "wait fuck"

03.28.26 @ 4:44PM

love when youtube recommends me a video clip of two rats eating "baby custard" and the owner is a jolly australian dad who refers to them as "the boys"

03.28.26 @ 9:50AM

seems obvious but sometimes i forget that taking breaks then coming back and looking at my art with fresh eyes usually relieves any doubts or frustrations i'm having =_=;;

03.27.26 @ 8:46AM

i do like bsky sometimes cause i can look thru the lowpoly tag to see what ppl are making and i always end up stumbling upon some indie dev making the coolest shit i've ever seen,, like today i found someone making a doom style fps but the models and animations are done with clay & stop motion. and they also incorporated doom 2016 executions but in the doom engine style. so gigabrained,,

03.26.26 @ 11:55AM

hmm i bought some unfamiliar brand of sriracha cause huy fong has gotten kinda expensive,, this one doesn't taste like sriracha and it somehow has less flavor than ketchup,, T-T

03.26.26 @ 11:23AM

feeling sooo frustrated with my art today,, i wish i would just get over myself :')

03.26.26 @ 9:37AM

i can't justify buying requiem at full price lol so i think i'm going to replay re7, village and the re2, re3 & re4 remakes =w= i think it'll be fun. i haven't played re7 in foreverrr so i'm kinda excited, i really enjoyed that one.

03.25.26 @ 3:46PM

i've been watching a lot of japanese women's pro wrestling lately =w=;; i have no idea whats going on or the lore, but its very entertaining. i loveee the costumes and i really like the comedy matches. i haven't been watching long enough to know who everyone is, but i like chiaki from marigold,, she looks like a tetsuya nomura character.

03.25.26 @ 9:09AM

going thru my stuff and found a riren craftwork geisha doll my grandma bought second hand in the philippines for me many years ago when i was a teenager T-T i never displayed her cause i thought she was kinda scary but idk i kind of like her now,, her creepy aura is charming

03.24.26 @ 12:29PM

i'm drawing a monster energy drink for something but i've never actually drank one,,, at my age i shouldn't anyway it'd probably kill me immediately lmao

03.24.26 @ 9:53AM

i started some gundam sticker designs that i've had in my head for awhile =_=b they're turning out kinda nice, i think

03.23.26 @ 8:52PM

i wanted to get some new designs up on my etsy by the end of this month, but i think its gonna take me a bit longer =_= and i still need to take new listing pics lol

03.23.26 @ 9:48AM

i watched an old documentary about gyaru,, i never knew they would use posca markers for their makeup back then T-T scary,, reminds me of how back in the day some ppl would use sharpie for eyeliner =_=;;

03.22.26 @ 6:45PM

forever starting new drawings when i have drawings that have been sitting unfinished for months,,

03.22.26 @ 2:41PM

i want to get better at making my figures look less flat >_< i should do some anatomy studies and also should practice perspective a bit more,, but i hate drawing da cubes ._.

03.22.26 @ 9:35AM

i have a frozen apple mascarpone strudel but i haven't baked it yet bc i am weird and waiting for the "right time" to have it, whatever that means,, =_=

03.21.26 @ 3:42PM

normally i stay off of ebay bc i get easily sucked into window shopping stuff i really don't need, but i've had to use it more recently since i'm trying to get rid of some things ~_~;;

03.21.26 @ 10:47AM

after years of only using dull crafting scissors and an electric shaver to cut my hair, i finally purchased some actual hair cutting scissors & thinning scissors haha =_=

03.20.26 @ 12:42PM

i feel like i'm constantly cleaning up after myself =_= i'll tidy and then in the blink of an eye everything is a disorganized mess again,, why am i like this. my pc is the same way, its a disaster i can never find anything,,

03.20.26 @ 10:35AM

the rare time i actually check bluesky, hideo kojima posts some dramatic tumblr ass selfcest picture of himself lmao

03.19.26 @ 7:00PM

i had a relaxing time modeling in blender yesterday u_u i think bc i don't want to think about my problems and just immerse myself in something, it suddenly became easier. i've come to accept that making stuff in blender sometimes feels "wrong" and "clunky" which was frustrating me before and causing me to get overwhelmed and doubt myself

03.19.26 @ 12:26PM

ok but like,, why not a bloodborne anime? u_u

03.19.26 @ 11:20AM

anyway, i want to take a break from drawing and fiddle around in blender today >_< i will try to get everything i need done today by this afternoon so i'll have the rest of the day to play in blender !!! >:|

03.18.26 @ 10:29AM

omg i can't even escape obsessive bullies in my dreams =_= leave me aloneee

03.18.26 @ 9:48AM

i'm someone who tries to stay positive but i'm quite grumpy lately. nothing has been going how i planned. i feel like i'm trapped in this place, isolated and my life is just passing me by.

03.17.26 @ 8:35PM

my dumbass decided to try to take pics for listings on the day its cold as fuck and snowed =_= i had to stop bc that room doesn't get any heat so i was shivering and my nose was running lol =_= annoying bc i think half the pics came out like doodoo

03.17.26 @ 2:44PM

looking at the 3d model for vincent in dirge of cerberus and the way they modeled the back layers of his hair is so cool,, =_= the shape is like a metal band logo lol

03.17.26 @ 11:46AM

i saw the shitty tumblr update =_= why tf would they change the way the reblog system works,, am i finally gonna use bluesky? i rly don't like bluesky bc its still modern social media. i've considered newgrounds cause at least actual humans feature the art and its devianart-esque with people who seem keen on actually interacting with eachother. and they do monthly art challenges which is pretty cool,, but idk

03.17.26 @ 11:00AM

man it sucks i've had two jobs from november til recently and i'm still fuckin broke =_= what was even the point

03.16.26 @ 11:32PM

my cat desperately scratching at the window bc she wants it open when there's 40 mph winds blowing outside is very funny to me for some reason

03.16.26 @ 9:46AM

oh yea i forgot about the duskbloods being a thing,, it looks cool and silly but fuck nintendo lol

03.15.26 @ 6:51PM

i tried to build a gothic revival style house in vintage story but got overwhelmed and gave up lol u_u i'll try again later !!

03.15.26 @ 3:11PM

my brain anytime i eat a banana: "oouuughh banana"

03.15.26 @ 11:34AM

instead of putting youtube vids on in the background while i work on stuff, i've been putting on anime i've already watched instead. a lot of my favorite anime i haven't watched in years,, so i may as well put them on and rewatch them instead of random video game essays that i end up tuning out anyway =_=;;

03.14.26 @ 8:16PM

i bought a cheap backdrop and am gonna take nicer shop pics sometime this week =_= i have needed to do this for awhile,, the room in the house with the best lighting is free so i'm gonna take advantage of it while i can lol

03.14.26 @ 4:34PM

i love millicent bc you do NOT have to accept a role anyone tries to force onto you and you CAN still continue to trust people, than to "simply continue to spoil from within" and if ANYONE expects you to "flower" into something other than YOURSELF, you tell them that you would rather "rot into nothingness as you are" !! u_u (and that despite your best efforts, trauma can be a lifelong and isolating experience that you do not want to subject to the people you do love and trust,,,)

03.14.26 @ 12:03PM

the wind is still going ham outside,, its been so loud all day, too. even with noise cancelling headphones on. i'm on the second floor of the house and earlier this afternoon my entire room was shaking while i was trying to draw haha =_=

03.13.26 @ 9:32PM

only on tumblr dot com can i log on and see gifs of slutty middle aged leon s kennedy driving around in a giant plastic lawn chair

03.13.26 @ 7:48PM

this time i got TWO bags of meatless meatballs =w=

03.13.26 @ 4:37PM

i have so many wips that i started in my more clean lineart style that i still rly like =_= but i don't wanna work on cause currently i really enjoy doing the more messy rendering style i did for my nikaido drawing,,

03.13.26 @ 11:38AM

its sunny today! but its sooo windy. we have a wind advisory all day haha =_=

03.13.26 @ 11:03AM

good morning, i hate this country.

03.13.26 @ 10:34AM

i decided not to walk down the street bc i really want more meatless meatballs from aldi so i'll just get groceries tmrw lol >_<

03.12.26 @ 6:19PM

god i love depeche mode =_=

03.12.26 @ 4:30PM

anyway, the weather is actually really nice today. maybe i'll walk down the street to get a few groceries,, i need food. i went thru a jar of peanut butter in a week, i'm insane idk

03.12.26 @ 9:39AM

i know this is a millenial ass thing to say, but i'm really the happiest when i get to sit down and drink my coffee in the morning >_< it feels like the only time out of the day i'm allowed to just relax and don't have to be doing something. or stressing the fuck out about my life and/or the state of the world.

03.12.26 @ 9:32AM

omg the freakish bananas i got from aldi three weeks ago are finally edible,,

03.11.26 @ 10:45PM

a big update for vintage story dropped recently =w= theres not a stable release yet, but i can't wait. so i made a new world to test it and check out some of the new stuff. last year vintage story kinda blew up. its a cool game, i'm glad more people are discovering it! :3

03.11.26 @ 3:41PM

on the subject of tornado season, i still think about the two tornadoes that went through tylertown, mississippi last march. specifically the damage they did to the trees. there is a really good video i found by the "mississippi forestry commission" doing an aerial survey of the damage. just acres and acres of snapped trees, all in the path the storm moved, leaving behind two parallel scars. that particular outbreak (march 13-16) was quite bad. i really hope we don't have anymore bad cases this year. the outbreak last weekend was really unfortunate.

03.11.26 @ 12:03PM

woke up to the tornado siren going off (i live in basically a village, so the siren is right across the street from my house lol) and a tornado watch for my area haha =_= we had a squall line passing thru & the watch is ongoing til noon. yup, its nader season,, there were some nasty ones last night in illinois & indiana, unfortunately. the supercell was suspected to have spawned at least four tornadoes as it moved from illinois to indiana and some massive hail was recorded in kankakee, illinois,,

03.11.26 @ 10:50AM

tornado season has arrived,, i kind of love tornado season and spend a lot of time watching storms on radar as well as traffic cams and storm chasers bc i find supercells and tornadoes so interesting. ^^; but its definitely also a somber time bc of the amount of havoc they wreak. having a close call with a tornado a couple years ago is ironically what reignited my interest in them. it helps my anxiety around them in a weird way,,

03.10.26 @ 5:20PM

anyway, my treat to myself is: dying my hair back to red! >:3 i will bleach it this week and then dye it next week. i'm excited. i also got myself a cool pair of pants and boots i had been eyeing on thredup for the last few weeks. ^^;;

03.10.26 @ 10:55AM

it feels good to sleep in ^^; i kinda forgot how much working second shift sucks ass. i was waking up super early just so i could have a few extra hours out of my day,, thats also probably why ive been so exhausted

03.10.26 @ 10:50AM

i gave youtube a try a few years ago and surprisingly ppl seemed to like my videos but i quit doing it bc i got overwhelmed and doubted myself a lot (i'm a perfectionist but also struggle with imposter syndrome lol which is also why i rarely post art online). but i think about doing it again all the time bc there were things i liked about it. i have no friends, there's nothing fun to do around here and i have an intense need to express myself & connect with others in some way outside of just making art haha :') so idk we'll see,, if i were to do it again i would take it way less seriously,,

03.09.26 @ 3:30PM

i watched the dorohedoro s2 trailer! IT LOOKS SO GOOD!! yay, yayyy =w=

03.09.26 @ 9:36AM

ooo i'm just now discovering the band DECEITS T-T <3 i loveeee <333

03.08.26 @ 1:38PM

i started a millicent (elden ring) drawing, like, nearly two years ago now. i think i put it on hold for so long bc i drew it purely for myself and felt weirdly shy about showing anyone. i think i'm going to work on it and try to finally finish it. everything else can wait.

03.08.26 @ 12:35PM

i spent money that i probably shouldn't have but oh welllll. i think i've earned a treat after everything i've been thru recently. =_=

03.08.26 @ 11:52AM

ahh bc ive been so busy i totally forgot, but i finally watched alysa liu's performance from a couple weeks ago after hearing so much buzz about it =_= <3 soooo endearing. i love her attitude,,

03.08.26 @ 10:21AM

ontop of feeling sleepy and taking multiple naps, i also felt super grumpy most of the day =_= i want to be doing something and trying to get my entire life in order but clearly my body wants rest right now. everything feeling out of my control is just making me sooo grumpy =_= bad mood, bad mood, bad mooood

03.07.26 @ 6:06PM

why does it seem like everyone around me is only concerned with shallow things, themselves and are overly insecure - reading too much into other ppls words and actions. making everything a competition. i'm my own person with thoughts, feelings and goals. i have my own wants and desires. i'm trying to work towards a more secure future for myself, bc i am not getting any younger. why is everyone so hostile and so quick to make assumptions about ppl or project onto others. no one just asks anything anymore. why does everyone under thirty act and talk like an entitled boomer.

03.07.26 @ 3:29PM

i am so, so sleepy and have slept so much since wednesday. these last few weeks have been such a blur. maybe i was pushing thru my stress and anxiety too much without realizing my body is tired,,

03.07.26 @ 12:07PM

not gonna lie, woke up still feeling kind of doomed,, but at least its warm and sunny today and i get to actually enjoy it :-)

03.07.26 @ 7:54AM

i've been thinking a lot about how i wanna make more original art for my shop =_= i enjoy making fanart but i feel like i've preassured myself into trying to conform to the fanmerch "aesthetic". like no offense, bc i know at the end of the day we're all trying to make a living, but a lot of fanmerch ends up looking exactly the same and reusing the same themes, etc. for me it gets boring. what's the point in doing the exact same thing over and over?? its just not for me and in the back of my mind i've known this for awhile. i think at this point i'd rather risk doing something different than continuing to force myself to do something i don't like for the sake of stability. i have some vague idea of what i want to do, i just have to keep experimenting a bit more until i get more clarity u_u

03.06.26 @ 4:54PM

ok now i'm never thinking about it again for real this time, haha =_= i'm just so pissed off but i gotta get on with my life

03.06.26 @ 11:52AM

the manager who seemed to hate me for no reason was the SCARIEST because he acted the NICEST and would pretend to "help" me but his vibes were just off. and i think he was the one orchestrating most of the bullying and harrassment. gave me white supremacist vibes tbh (i live in trump country ohio)

03.06.26 @ 11:45AM

bro its too much to get into but they were getting customers to haze me (its a small community and literally everyone knows eachother. i don't know anyone cause i'm not from here). and when i foolishly told one of the other workers (everyone i worked with were white btw) i'm part filipino, suddenly filipinos were coming in and harassing me. i'm so disappointed in the filipino woman who was shouting at me on wednesday. i should have told her god is watching her lol but i just walked away without saying anything =_= thinking "why are you playing games for white ppl??" i'm totally aware i sound kind of crazy, but i know in my gut that the management were getting customers to bully me. there were times when it was very obvious. i've worked customer service, i can handle some shit but what prompted me to quit was the fact that it all seemed very intentional and targeted towards me. and the filipino woman being hostile towards me, that really fucking hurt bc my grandma passed away last year, idk man it just rly hurt. and the bullying felt racially charged. bc some of the girls clocked me as some kind of asian and kept kind of hinting at it so i just eventually told them i'm mixed filipino. maybe i'm crazy but now i think they wanted to know so they could use it against me, which is why suddenly filipinos were coming in being hostile to me. and i knew other filipinos live in this area, i knew some from my old job and they were always so friendly and normal lol. and also there were a lot of subtle comments related to asia or asian food from workers that they made towards me that i just ignored but it was obvious they were trying to bully me. maybe they were just dumb and thought i would be cool with stereotypes but it was weird. ANYWAY it was getting scary, i'm not putting up with that shit for a minimum wage job.

03.06.26 @ 11:37AM

thank gawd at least i can go back to wearing what i want and can paint my nails again =_= i wasn't given a uniform or anything but i couldn't wear anything nice cause i was constantly getting dirty anyway

03.06.26 @ 11:05AM

these ppl are now trying to harass me thru email lol. unfortunately its in a way that i can't really prove it. but basically they are sending me overdue training tasks (that my manager said i "don't have to do those" and i wasn't about to complete them at home, unpaid) even though i explicitly told them i quit on wednesday and am not coming back. and they're not automated emails because i can tell the manager is editing the template and then sending them. anyway, good thing i used a burner email and can just turn off notifications and never look at it again. :-)

03.06.26 @ 9:32AM

ok well time to put that weird experience behind me, never think about it again and move forward i guess lol

03.06.26 @ 9:08AM

i think the hardest lesson i've had to learn is that often times the people who appear to be very outwardly nice and are quick to "help" you are usually the most deceptive and mean :(

03.05.26 @ 4:55PM

i could be held at gun point or hit by a car and no one would care lol that's how alone i feel right now

03.05.26 @ 3:00PM

also listing some stuff on ebay just in case =_= i'm tireddd

03.05.26 @ 2:25PM

i'm going to try and design some new stickers for my shop for the next few days since idk what to do about my job situation at the moment :( i was planning on putting aside money from my day job to make keychains and stuff since my shop doesn't rly make enough to invest into that but that's been put on hold til i figure something out

03.05.26 @ 10:38AM

i now have a weird rash on both of my forearms so thats great

03.05.26 @ 9:54AM

power struggles and bullying has been an ongoing theme in my life and idk wtf to do about it. it only seems to be escalating the more i care about myself and refuse to play the games (by being kind and trying to ignore it), which is making fitting in difficult as most people seem to interpret that as a threat or being stuck up. this case was particularly bad, though. i really didn't feel safe at all. everything feels so grim these days.

03.04.26 @ 11:32PM

it was so bad that i'm honestly kind of scared that place now has all of my personal info

03.04.26 @ 5:16PM

nvm i quit my job bc i was getting next level fucked with and didn't feel safe. that place isn't right.

03.04.26 @ 4:32PM

i woke up kinda early today idk why u_u i'm tired but not tired enough to stay in bed or something

03.04.26 @ 7:45AM

the good news: today was much better than sunday. the bad news: aldi was out of their meatless meatballs today T-T

03.03.26 @ 8:31PM

my anxiety has been sooo bad lately. i had a difficult time relaxing today. i need to shut my brain off and have enrichment time >_<

03.02.26 @ 11:50PM

batman returns is such a fun movie, now i remember why i watched it hundreds of times as a kid,,

03.02.26 @ 7:04PM

i miss my grandpa :')

03.02.26 @ 2:39PM

thank god something i was worried about ending up working out T-T i really needed some good news after having a really rough night haha

03.02.26 @ 9:34AM

i feel so fucking doomed and like we're never going to leave this no where place

03.01.26 @ 9:12PM

lol why are my bananas still green ??? T-T i wanna eat them

03.01.26 @ 12:53PM

i've worked three days in a row, tonight will be the third. e-e i'm glad i'm getting consistent hours tho. i really want to work on some art tmrw since i have the day off. i just hope i'm not super tired. e-e

03.01.26 @ 9:21AM

jfc i hate this country

02.28.26 @ 10:44PM

i thought i was imagining it, but it seems like one of the managers hates me for no reason. it feels like its in a misogynistic way. so that's great and not scary at all. can men just be normal

02.28.26 @ 8:42PM

right now i rly like the song "detachment" by kontravoid =_=b its just rly good

02.28.26 @ 10:24AM

i guess since i'm settled in ppl are already giving me the tea. tbh i don't rly care and forget it all by the time my shift's over cause there's so much i gotta do before i finish for the night anyway =_=

02.27.26 @ 8:52PM

yee i'm so tired. i napped for an hour then rotted in bed for another. trying not to feel guilty about it cause i rly needed the rest haha u_u

02.26.26 @ 6:17PM

i used to be someone who cried really easily, but for the last couple years i learned how to turn it off to get thru some things. its difficult to know when i need a cry or how to cry now, so i let myself cry at sad stories or whatever in private, haha. u_u it needs to come out, even if i'm not aware that i need it to.

02.26.26 @ 9:41AM

bro most of the ppl i work with have been so nice T-T i get a little anxious cause i'm not used to it & i get scared i'm gonna get fucked with but no they're just genuinely being nice & helpful.

02.25.26 @ 8:23PM

i guess bc of changes & anxiety i picked at my skin the other day =_= when i realized i made sure to not do anymore. but now i have a raw spot on my upper cheek, it hurtsss

02.25.26 @ 10:19AM

i finally rewatched blade I & II after many years :D so fun

02.24.26 @ 8:00PM

the bananas from aldi are always sooo green, even when i put them in a bag it takes like a week before i can even eat them,, T-T

02.24.26 @ 1:41PM

i dyed my hair black cause i couldn't be bothered to bleach it but maybe i'll go back to red in a few weeks,, i miss it u_u

02.24.26 @ 11:37AM

i'm sooo over this snow u_u

02.23.26 @ 11:30PM

its my first full week of this job e_e i think i'll survive. its not that hard, i'm just ready to be at the point where i already know how to do everything so i can get tf out of there on time, haha. hopefully i can get it down by the end of the week.

02.23.26 @ 9:50AM

so i committed the cardinal sin of not cleaning the grease trap on my first night alone but i was literally sabotaged by the unhinged racist old lady who worked the shift before me e__e she's supposedly quitting tho so hopefully i won't have to worry about that again.

02.22.26 @ 10:15AM

yeah idk what i got into with this job but i have to make it work for now -__-

02.21.26 @ 10:00PM

tumblr is still worth checking bc of babytube memes

02.21.26 @ 10:00AM

tomorrow is my last day of training and then i'm on my own lol i'm scared =_=

02.20.26 @ 9:16PM

luckily the ppl i worked with so far are pretty chill but idk what i got myself into w/ this job haha =_= i think it will be fine tho, i don't think its anything i can't handle.

02.19.26 @ 9:45PM

idk why but i'm in the mood to watch superhero movies from 90s/2000s,, i've been wanting to watch batman returns & batman forever but i wanna watch the x-men and blade movies, too. its been foreverrrr u_u

02.19.26 @ 9:34AM

ooo, a new .hack game in development!! :o what a surprise

02.18.26 @ 11:47AM

idk why but i have a good feeling about the people at the place i'm gonna work? i just got good vibes from them.

02.17.26 @ 11:42PM

hey, why the fuck do i need to do a RECORDED video call for some dumb online ID just so i can login to verify my identity AGAIN in order to receive my tax return??? e_e

02.17.26 @ 12:47PM

i will probably temporarily close my etsy shop sometime next week. i need to sort out my inventory and prices/shipping bc etsy & USPS' prices just keep going up e_e

02.17.26 @ 9:40AM

ok yay i got the job. i feel like i can breathe now, haha. it was difficult to do anything else cause i was feeling so stressed out. i'll be doing my best to finish & work on some new art in my free time. >:3

02.16.26 @ 1:44PM

i had an interview today! it went well even tho i was pretty nervous

02.16.26 @ 10:52AM

ah ok finally a bit of positive news, wasn't expecting that haha

02.14.26 @ 9:44AM

hmm i guess instead of stressing out over not being able to change my entire life overnight i will let myself play a video game tomorrow or something

02.13.26 @ 11:30PM

applied to some places that claim to be hiring =_= so just more waiting, i guess.

02.13.26 @ 2:47PM

songs of faith and devotion is such a good album =_= <3

02.12.26 @ 1:31PM

its a bit cheesy but applying the quote "the only winning move is not to play" to my personal situation keeps me sane most days haha

02.11.26 @ 6:50PM

i feel like since december i've had a curse put on me e_e things were seemingly going so well before that, wtf happened? maybe i'm being too impatient. i feel so out of whack and not like myself. u_u

02.11.26 @ 10:46AM

=_=

02.09.26 @ 7:46PM

idk whats going on anymore

02.09.26 @ 1:00PM

ooo, dorohedoro s2 in april :o yayy

02.08.26 @ 2:26PM

things may finally be moving forward??? still not really sure. will hopefully find out tomorrow e_e

02.08.26 @ 10:55AM

conquering da worm

02.08.26 @ 2:32AM

this town, man. i hate it here. u_u

02.06.26 @ 12:42PM

i make my silly little phone calls and no one ever answers. i can't even go anywhere bc we keep getting so much snow :')

02.06.26 @ 9:48AM

autonomy

02.05.26 @ 5:52PM

ah don't stop, girly pop! is out. i can't relax enough to play games right now tho >_<;;

02.05.26 @ 12:12PM

i mixed a can of diced tomato & chilis with some chopped onion to eat with eggs, quesadillas, etc. tbh i could eat it just on its own,, i kind of like canned tomato better than fresh ones u_u;

02.04.26 @ 3:54PM

sending love to all victims who's ever had to hear "oh they're a nice person so they can't be an abuser/pedophile". those ppl love to act like they care about the epstein files but are literally part of the problem.

02.04.26 @ 11:00AM

i've been trying to get hired at my old job but it has been weirdly complicated =_= i feel cursed, haha

02.03.26 @ 7:45PM

i've been underweight for awhile, so i'm eating p. butter sandwiches thru the day e_e; i should take better care of myself

02.03.26 @ 11:51AM

omg finally the new arakawa anime, and premiering so soon!! lets gooo T-T<3<3

02.02.26 @ 9:57AM

aldi's meatless meatballs are rly good 10/10

02.01.26 @ 6:00PM

making decisions is so hard e_e

02.01.26 @ 12:20PM

i am still waiting patiently for dorohedoro season 2 tho ( ಠ_ಠ)

02.01.26 @ 10:18AM

ooo, new ghost in the shell anime. and animated by science saru, cool.

02.01.26 @ 10:18AM

aw, i found pics of myself from when i was in my early 20s on my old digicam..

01.31.26 @ 11:43PM

idk why i had such a disdain for yugioh's art style as a kid. takahashi's art is actually really cool.

01.31.26 @ 12:46PM

i will never understand why ppl who design house plans decide to put bathrooms right off the kitchen, the busiest place in a house

01.31.26 @ 10:24AM

stressed bc finding work isn't going as planned

01.30.26 @ 9:43AM

i decided to be evil and added javascript fade ins

01.29.26 @ 4:34PM

i am once again clearing out this dumb section

01.29.26 @ 2:01PM